I finally hit the 80 pound mark this week!
It's official! I have lost 80 pounds since I started back in May 2011!
That...is amazing. Not to sound cocky or anything, but come on! 80 pounds. Gone.
Back in May of last year I did not think it could happen. But in less than a year I made it happen. I have worked and sweated and cried and struggled and whined and complained and skipped a workout here or there and ate veggies and cheated once in awhile and prayed and stared at myself in the mirror and wondered and planned and hoped and...and...and...
I'm getting there! I am achieving what I set out to do. Even when I didn't believe myself that it could happen.
Now, back to earth...I still have 1.5 pounds to lose before Wednesday if I want to make my goal of being under 200 by my 31st birthday. Maybe if I fast on Tuesday...
I'm not promoting starvation as a good weight loss technique, but for one day I might bend the rules. It would really stink to come so close and not make the cut. Even if it is a self-inflicted cut.
(Now I'm a cutter??? That didn't come out right.)
Something I did good this week: I FINALLY bought myself a new pair of running shoes! It was so overdue, but I had no money, no time, and no nerves to let someone evaluate my running. I'm glad I got over all those hurdles and made it happen. (More about this later.)
Something I could improve on: Getting my workout done earlier in the day. I need to wake up before the kids. It gets harder and harder as the day goes on to make a workout happen. It would be so much easier on myself to just get up and get it out of the way. Ugh. I hate waking up early.
Spring Break was last week and boy oh boy did I fall off the no-sugar wagon. we were so busy playing and traveling that I wasn't going to let any old "let's lose weight!" plans stand in the way of a fabulous Spring Break vacation. I ate chocolate! I drank a few pops! I ate carb-rich foods from restaurants! I skipped a few several workouts!
And I almost got away with it.
I gained one whole ounce this week.
I can deal with that.
Still, I can't help feeling a tad guilty. I really should have been on better behavior. I hope Karma doesn't come back to bite me on the scale later. Especially when I'm getting so close to my first really big weight loss goal.
April 18th. It's coming. In fact, it's only a week away and I still have 3.6 pounds to lose before it does.
Something I did well this week: I finally ran 3 miles without stopping. It's a little frustrating to see how long it's taking me to build up my running endurance again. But I'll get there eventually.
Something I could improve on: I think I need to find a better balance on vacation weeks. Sure, I didn't gain weight, but I can tell I've lost some physical progress I had made. I should have been better about working out every day and eating more veggies.
What I'm listening to: Classical music. Every now and then I'm reminded how great it can be for running. It has perfect timing. It has a driving beat. And it's just downright enjoyable and calming sometimes. I guess it isn't your typical running music, but I like it.
Things are much much muchmuchmuch better since the last woeful post I wrote about the medication I was taking for chronic dizziness. I called the neurologist that prescribed it and he said, "Get off of it!". I concurred. But then he prescribed me another medication and when I looked up the details, I noticed that dizziness just happened to be one of the biggest side effects.
Does he remember why I walked into his office in the first place?
I decided to scrap the neurologist and his silly medications and do things my way.
I still have the dizziness. It's obnoxious, but it's not unbearable. Plus I don't feel like I want to eat my young or dive headfirst into a bucket of ice cream. I'd say that's an overall improvement, wouldn't you?
Over the last several weeks that I have been medication free, I've gotten back on track with diet and exercise. I'm still plugging away at the P90X program. One of my fitness goals is to complete the program in its entirety and I just finished Week 7!
I am also running three days a week and loveloveloving the chance to do it outside! My husband has been home for the past couple of weeks so as soon as he walks in the door from the office I run out the door. Literally. It's a wonderful/terrible/wonderful release that I anticipate all day. He is leaving again on Easter Sunday and won't be back until May. Guh! I've got to figure out a way to get outside while he's gone.
How about a weight update, eh?
On Monday, the 2nd, the scale said I had lost a grand total of 78.1 pounds since last May when I began my weight loss journey.
That means I have lost this much...
...the same amount of weight as my heaviest and lightest child! It's (not) funny to lift them and think about how not so long ago I was carrying all of that with me all the time. It's also funny that it's not so hard to lift them these days. It probably has something to do with all these rippling muscles I'm building. (hee hee!)
The other day as I was working out along with the P90X DVD, my son said, "Hey Mom! You've got those bulgy things that the people on the TV do!"
Dang straight I do, kid! Tickets to the gun show anyone??
Ya'all...Life is good! It is so much better than it was almost a year ago! I feel so much better about...ME!
I am capable! I am strong! I am beautiful! I am worthwhile!
Really, I say that with humility. It isn't easy to say even still, even at 78 pounds lighter. Especially when I see all the stretch marks and baggy skin hanging off of me. It's an embarrassing and painful reminder of what I used to be. But it also serves as a safeguard that will hopefully scare me from ever getting to that wretched place again. One day I will make peace with this body of mine. And every day I feel a little closer to doing just that.
These days I'm eagerly looking forward to a major milestone: getting under the 200 pound mark. I'm at 203.4. It's soooo darn close! My goal is to be there by April 18th, my 31st birthday. I have 15 days.