Weigh-In Wonderings

My weigh-in days have changed to Sundays thanks to the weight loss competition I'm in. I like weighing in on Sunday better than Monday. That way I can make Sunday my "free day" and not be so stressed and guilty about the homemade goodies indulged in on this family day.

I only lost 0.7 pounds this week. I'm not surprised with all the sugar screw-ups I had this week.

Dang that sugar.

Still, that brings my weight loss total to 92.7 pounds lost. Yea!

I have such an internal battle with myself daily...hourly...minutely.

What's so bad about being the weight I am now? I'm a size 12/14. I can shop in the "regular" section of the department store. I'm under 200 pounds. Heck, I'm under 190 pounds for the first time in 9 years. Why couldn't I just say a 93 pound weight loss is good enough?

Some days I'm ready to do just that.

Other days, I'm not.

I'm 5'10" and on a doctor's scale I'm still "overweight" by at least 15 pounds. If I lost 15 pounds I would still be on the very edge of the "good zone".

Pssh! It's only 15 pounds, right? What's the big deal?! That's what I keep asking myself every day.

Blah.

It's getting so hard to lose weight now. I have to be so very careful about every little thing I put in my mouth. No sugar. No soda. No fun. At least that's what it feels like sometimes.

We're wandering into the holiday season now and I don't want to be so obsessed with weight loss that I can't bake some pumpkin goodies or decorate sugar cookies with my kids. But I don't want to destroy the progress I've made either.

It really is a good thing I'm doing this weight loss competition right now or I would have fallen hard weeks ago. Only problem is it ends a few days before Halloween. Yikes!

I know I write about this all the time, but somehow I've got to find that happy balance. I WANT MY CAKE AND I WANT TO EAT IT TOO, GOSH DANGIT!!!

So maybe I keep going with the weight loss challenge. Then I work to maintain through the holidays, still working out, but not being such a Nazi that I can't relax a little through the holidays. Then pick it back up in January when the fire to succeed is burning brightly.

Sounds like a plan. Until I change my mind again tomorrow.

Blah Blah Blah

Blah blah blah.

I've been missing, but now I'm back.

Blah, blah, blah.

Same old story.

Blah blah blah.

Man! What happened to me? I used to be rather passionate about blogging. And now...pfffffffffft <---That would be the sound that a balloon makes when all the hot air runs out of it. Or in this case...a blogger. Minus the hot air that is.

Speaking of "used to be passionate"...I used to be kind of passionate about weight loss too.

But something happened to me when I got below the 200 mark.

I got comfortable.

It was really lovely to not be 200 something pounds anymore.
And it was really lovely to fit in my clothes.
And it was really lovely to even be able to zip up my wedding dress (and who needs to breathe anyway, right?)
And it has been SUPER lovely hearing all the compliment about how great I look.
And it was lovely lovely being able to eat just about anything I wanted and still maintain my weight.

But all that lovely feels wrong sometimes.

I had a goal. I wanted to reach my pre wedding weight of 175. And while I may be really pleased with losing 80 plus pounds and fitting comfortably in a size 14 and hearing from everyone how fantastic I look...

It boils down to this.

As comfortable as I've been being where I'm at, I'm still not comfortable in my own skin. I still feel "fat". Some might feel I have a skewed view. I believe my dad's words were: "I think you look rather piqued". But by medical definition, at 5'10" and 197.6 pounds (my weight today by the way), I am still a good 30 pounds overweight. My little weight loss journey is far from over. I've been relaxing far too long in Dr. Pepper and Chocolate Land. It's time to get serious again and get back on the bandwagon.

I recently finished P90X and now I'm getting focused on running again. I am in the midst of a 10 week training program for my half marathon zooming right up on me on September 1st. I am really slow. My average mile time is rarely lower than 11 minutes per mile. But I can go the distance. Last Saturday I did a 6 mile run/walk in the morning and stayed busy the rest of the day throwing a cowgirl birthday party for my little 4 year old. The fact that I didn't drop dead, or even feel like dropping dead, during the day felt like an accomplishment to me.

I think my running would go a lot better if I could just get my head back into healthy eating. I've fallen into the pop pit again. It's time to kick the soda habit back into submission. I am trying to track my calories better and work out even on my days off from running. A little cross training never hurt anyone.

My current ultimate goal is to lose that 25 to 30 pounds by the end of the summer. I don't want to carry it with me through that half marathon. It needs to go!! Once upon a time I had enough self control to drop 83.9 pounds. I need that power again. I want to see that 100 pounds lost mark!

Odds and Ends: I May be Odd, but it's Not the End

First things first, I wanted to say thank you so much for all the encouraging and kind comments left on my last post. They really meant a lot. This is the beauty of going public about your weight loss. When you get discouraged--as you most certainly will--there are people standing outside of the situation who can remind you just why you are doing this. So, thank you people standing out there! I really needed to hear what you said. Thank you.

It's weigh in day. I lost less than a pound. My fear is that loss is actually loss of muscle since I haven't been consistently doing P90X for the past week and a half. But whatever. A loss is a loss. And today I'll take it with a smile on my face. I'm now at 82.6 pounds lost total since May 2011 and 27.9 pounds lost in 2012.

I really have tried to ease up on myself. I'm giving myself a bit of time off. I'm still running this week, but no P90X workouts. There just isn't a lot of time for both as I get ready for Memorial Day weekend. Healthy eating is hit and miss. We'll hit it again after the holiday. I promise. It's not the end.

I bought the Zumba Exhilarate DVD set off of Amazon yesterday. I can't wait to try it! I have two more weeks of P90X left. I'm so done with it already, but my goal is to "complete" it and I will do it. Another goal is to try Zumba. I've never done it before, but I'm fairly certain I'm going to love it. I can't resist shaking my booty to some good music; it sounds like it's right up my alley. And thank you to my dear husband who gave me the green light to buy it as my Mothers' Day gift!

Speaking of music, this is my favorite running song today. I ran this morning just so I could run to this song. It pushed me right up the steep hill near my house at a sprint. WOO!



Lastly, make sure to check out my main blog, Hanging by a Silver Lining. I'm posting one of my favorite healthy recipes today: BBQ Chicken Salad. Easy, healthy, gluten and dairy free. Can't beat that!

Happy Wednesday to you all!

80 Pounds GONE! I am Octo-Mom!

It's Monday/weigh-in day and guess what?!

I finally hit the 80 pound mark this week!
It's official! I have lost 80 pounds since I started back in May 2011!

That...is amazing. Not to sound cocky or anything, but come on! 80 pounds. Gone.

Back in May of last year I did not think it could happen. But in less than a year I made it happen. I have worked and sweated and cried and struggled and whined and complained and skipped a workout here or there and ate veggies and cheated once in awhile and prayed and stared at myself in the mirror and wondered and planned and hoped and...and...and...

I'm getting there! I am achieving what I set out to do. Even when I didn't believe myself that it could happen.

Now, back to earth...I still have 1.5 pounds to lose before Wednesday if I want to make my goal of being under 200 by my 31st birthday. Maybe if I fast on Tuesday...

I'm not promoting starvation as a good weight loss technique, but for one day I might bend the rules. It would really stink to come so close and not make the cut. Even if it is a self-inflicted cut.

(Now I'm a cutter??? That didn't come out right.)

Something I did good this week: I FINALLY bought myself a new pair of running shoes! It was so overdue, but I had no money, no time, and no nerves to let someone evaluate my running. I'm glad I got over all those hurdles and made it happen. (More about this later.)

Something I could improve on: Getting my workout done earlier in the day. I need to wake up before the kids. It gets harder and harder as the day goes on to make a workout happen. It would be so much easier on myself to just get up and get it out of the way. Ugh. I hate waking up early.

Spring Break: Girl Gone Wild!

Spring Break was last week and boy oh boy did I fall off the no-sugar wagon. we were so busy playing and traveling that I wasn't going to let any old "let's lose weight!" plans stand in the way of a fabulous Spring Break vacation. I ate chocolate! I drank a few pops! I ate carb-rich foods from restaurants! I skipped a few several workouts!

And I almost got away with it.

I gained one whole ounce this week.

I can deal with that.

Still, I can't help feeling a tad guilty. I really should have been on better behavior. I hope Karma doesn't come back to bite me on the scale later. Especially when I'm getting so close to my first really big weight loss goal.

April 18th. It's coming. In fact, it's only a week away and I still have 3.6 pounds to lose before it does.

Eek!

Something I did well this week: I finally ran 3 miles without stopping. It's a little frustrating to see how long it's taking me to build up my running endurance again. But I'll get there eventually.

Something I could improve on: I think I need to find a better balance on vacation weeks. Sure, I didn't gain weight, but I can tell I've lost some physical progress I had made. I should have been better about working out every day and eating more veggies.

What I'm listening to: Classical music. Every now and then I'm reminded how great it can be for running. It has perfect timing. It has a driving beat. And it's just downright enjoyable and calming sometimes. I guess it isn't your typical running music, but I like it.

Currently: 78.0 pounds lost

Losing the Baby Weight!

Umm... Hello?

Is this blog still on?

High time for an update, don't you think?

Things are much much muchmuchmuch better since the last woeful post I wrote about the medication I was taking for chronic dizziness. I called the neurologist that prescribed it and he said, "Get off of it!". I concurred. But then he prescribed me another medication and when I looked up the details, I noticed that dizziness just happened to be one of the biggest side effects.

Huh???

Does he remember why I walked into his office in the first place?

I decided to scrap the neurologist and his silly medications and do things my way.

Medication-free.

I still have the dizziness. It's obnoxious, but it's not unbearable. Plus I don't feel like I want to eat my young or dive headfirst into a bucket of ice cream. I'd say that's an overall improvement, wouldn't you?

Over the last several weeks that I have been medication free, I've gotten back on track with diet and exercise. I'm still plugging away at the P90X program. One of my fitness goals is to complete the program in its entirety and I just finished Week 7!

I am also running three days a week and loveloveloving the chance to do it outside! My husband has been home for the past couple of weeks so as soon as he walks in the door from the office I run out the door. Literally. It's a wonderful/terrible/wonderful release that I anticipate all day. He is leaving again on Easter Sunday and won't be back until May. Guh! I've got to figure out a way to get outside while he's gone.

(Thinkthinkthink.)

How about a weight update, eh?

On Monday, the 2nd, the scale said I had lost a grand total of 78.1 pounds since last May when I began my weight loss journey.

Wowza!

That means I have lost this much...

...the same amount of weight as my heaviest and lightest child! It's (not) funny to lift them and think about how not so long ago I was carrying all of that with me all the time. It's also funny that it's not so hard to lift them these days. It probably has something to do with all these rippling muscles I'm building. (hee hee!)

The other day as I was working out along with the P90X DVD, my son said, "Hey Mom! You've got those bulgy things that the people on the TV do!"

Dang straight I do, kid! Tickets to the gun show anyone??

Ya'all...Life is good! It is so much better than it was almost a year ago! I feel so much better about...ME!

I am capable! I am strong! I am beautiful! I am worthwhile!

Really, I say that with humility. It isn't easy to say even still, even at 78 pounds lighter. Especially when I see all the stretch marks and baggy skin hanging off of me. It's an embarrassing and painful reminder of what I used to be. But it also serves as a safeguard that will hopefully scare me from ever getting to that wretched place again. One day I will make peace with this body of mine. And every day I feel a little closer to doing just that.

These days I'm eagerly looking forward to a major milestone: getting under the 200 pound mark. I'm at 203.4. It's soooo darn close! My goal is to be there by April 18th, my 31st birthday. I have 15 days.

Can I do it???

I sure hope so!

Happy Problems

Oops! Looks like I've missed out on a couple of weeks of blogging. And as I sit and type these words waiting for my computer to catch up and show them on the screen, I am reminded why.

(Dumb computer.)

Let's see if it will cooperate long enough to get an update up here.

Last Monday I weighed in at 214.0. That made for a 2.8 pound loss for the week,12.8 pounds total.

This Monday, today, I weighed in again and lost another pound. 13.8 pounds lost since January 2012 and 68.5 pounds lost since May 2011.

Baby steps. They are good baby steps, but this infantile struggle is driving me bonkers. This is taking FOREVER! I keep struggling with the same 2 pounds. Gaining and losing it over and over. I'm ready to move on! Grr.

Really what do I have to complain about? I have lost almost 70 pounds in less than a year. That's awesome. It's just going to be harder from here on out. I get that. I can't let the daily grind get me down and make me blind to the big picture.

Oh, but I do love to whine, don't I? I realized that I've started complaining lately about a few things that, really, are happy problems.

I've gotten too small for most of my clothes, but can't afford a whole new wardrobe. For now I keep wearing all these things are barely hanging onto my hips and shoulders. Sad, right?
I can't--ahem--"fill up" my bras anymore. My bust was one of the first things to go with my weight loss. My cup no longer runneth o'er.
My armpits are getting harder to shave. They are rapidly receding and becoming concave.
Before, when I would cuddle with my husband I was so embarrassed of all my "fluff". Now the fluff is deflating, leaving lots of sag. All this extra skin is grotesque and embarrassing on the other end of the spectrum. Never did plastic surgery seem so appealing.
My wedding ring no longer fits. I lose it all the time if I move my hands too energetically.
My winter coat is so baggy that I get drafts up the back all the time now.

These are things I feel foolish whining about. I'd much rather have these problems than the ones I had a few months ago: feelings of inadequacy, poor self-esteem, always being out of breath, a fatty liver, clothes that don't fit because they are too tight, etc.

Looks like my computer is tired of my rambling and isn't going to let me go on much longer.That's probably for the best.

Something good that I did this week: I started P90X again. Now I'm doing a P90X workout 6 days of the week as well as running three days a week. I usually can't fall asleep very quickly at night. That hasn't been an issue this week.

Something to improve upon: SUGAR! UGH!! It is one of my biggest weaknesses. I had vowed to leave it behind cold turkey until my birthday in April, but then I remembered that my friend Sami was going to be staying with me this week. She has three requests: 1- "I want to try sushi", 2- "Show me how to make Muddy Buddies", and 3- "Two words. Mrs. See's". I can't be a bad hostess! Her wish is my command. Never mind that I was probably subconsciously looking for any escape clause from my sugar sabbatical. *sigh* Next week. I've got to get serious about it. This is probably the biggest reason I can't seem to shake these two pounds and move on.

What I've been listening to: I moved my treadmill so it was facing my computer. Hulu.com is fantastic entertainment during those tri-weekly runs. A little Saturday Night Live. Some Parks and Rec. Life is good. And those runs never went by so quickly.

Superbowl 2012: Some Giants Won. Some...Not So Much.

Great game yesterday, right?
I'm not the biggest football fan. I don't have a team or watch sports faithfully, but I enjoy a good Superbowl Sunday.

It may or may not be mostly because of all the food.

Okay. That's exactly why I like the Superbowl. It's a chance to hang with family and EAT FOOD.

I made lots of goodies, but I was good about the goodies. I had a few of this and a couple of that. I only filled my plate once. I drank water over any of the sugary stuff. And I stopped as soon as I was full.

So after stepping on the scale this morning, I'm feeling a bit like a Patriot player. Stunned. Wondering what the heck happened. And in need of some comfort.

I didn't lose. I didn't maintain. I didn't even gain a little. I gained TWO POUNDS! TWO FLIPPING POUNDS?!

I was already in a cranky mood when I got up this morning, but that weight gain just about pushed me over the edge. As I was getting breakfast ready for the kids I opened the fridge and saw a plate with some chocolate covered strawberries left from the party the night before. Ahh. Sweet comfort.

What's the point? I try and try and work my behind off all week only to gain weight because I had a little Superbowl food the night before. And I was being "good". What if I had gone crazy like I had wanted to? Forget it. I'm done.

Chocolate covered strawberries. Get in my belly.

I popped one in my mouth. Chewed. And spit it out. This is not going to help the situation. But this is how I roll. When the going gets tough...you eat.

I popped another one in. Chewed. And again...spit it out.

Evelyn. Get a grip. Are two pounds worth this?Are you going to throw away all that you have accomplished so far? Are you going to give up any time your weight fluctuates like this?

No.

What was that?

NO!!

So I stuck it to those two pounds. During my run this morning I did an extra 10 minutes of running and 15 minutes of walking. Take that 2 pounds!! I walked away from the treadmill realizing that I have gained far more than 2 pounds. I have gained knowledge. I have gained self control. I have gained gumption.

It's a 2 pounds gain this week, but who knows? Maybe next week it will be a 5 pound loss. And even if it isn't...Oh well. At least I'm trying. At least I'll be farther along athletically. At least I won't be as depressed and out of shape. At least I can complain with reason.

Congratulations to the Giants for winning the Superbowl! And congrats to this Jolly Green Giant for winning her own Superbowl!

Happy Monday Ya'all!

Something I did great on this week: I tried clothes on at the store and although I didn't buy anything, I didn't have to go to the Plus Size section to find clothes that fit!!

Something to improve on: Measure carefully when it comes to food. Maybe I'm screwing up on my calorie counting. *shrugs shoulders*

What I'm listening to: Rio movie soundtrack.

Big Fat Hypocrite (Only not as big and fat as before!)

Down another 3.1 pounds today!! Bringing me to a total of 12.1 pounds lost since January 1, 2012 and 66.8 pounds lost since I started this little weight loss journey last May. I weigh 214.7 pounds! I'm getting ever closer to being under that 200 mark!

To celebrate I bought a new set of workout clothes. I desperately need some new stuff. The clothes I'm wearing to exercise in could probably stand on their own with the body stench that is permanently stuck on them. That is...if they weren't so worn out and holey.

Don't worry. I work out at home. No one gets to see this mess, except my children. Poor things.

Anyway! New clothes! Yea! And guess what they're made out of?!

SPANDEX!!!!

Bahahahahahahahahaha! I think I'm hilarious for being a big old fat hypocrite. It was only three measly days ago that I said I didn't intend on wearing spandex.

But I couldn't resist. It's just so breathable and flexible and gosh...almost kinda sorta flattering. My bum never looked so supported.

I couldn't wait to try it on. I looked in the mirror and actually smiled at what I saw. So I thought I would be brave and take a picture so I could finally share a picture with the blog. But...my husband is out of town and the children aren't exactly photographers. We tried, but I just ended up with blurry body parts.

So I tried to shoot a few myself in my bedroom mirror. And when I looked at the pics I was rather embarrassed. Apparently what I am seeing in the mirror isn't what other people would be seeing. The spandex isn't as "hawt" as I initially thought it was.

Thus...I'm not ready to show you a bunch of pics of me in it.

Kind of dumb really. I'm willing to tell you my weight, but not show you the pictures.

Really dumb.

Okay.

Just one.

Hee hee.

Okay. For reals. Ugh.

This was my attempt at not showing off my church lady arms.

Flip.

Let's just get this over with. One day I can look back at these and see how far I've come.

Ready? Go.

Oh it gets worse. Wait for it...Wait for it...

And the side view.

That was the hard picture to see. I mean--not only is my room a mess (do laundry much?), but look at that gut. I know it's not as big as it used to be, but sheesh... I've got some serious ab work ahead of me.

Onward and upwards, my friends. Onwards and upwards. (Too bad my poor saggy boobs will never get to that last part.)

So! Now that I've mutilated and humiliated myself in front of the world....

Something I did great this week: I CAN RUN 30 MINUTES WITHOUT STOPPING! Sure! Maybe you look great in spandex, but CAN YOU DO THAT??!

And something I could improve upon: Abs. Gotta break down, lay down, and get down to it.

What I'm listening to this week: When the Kids Go to Sleep Podcasts

Out of Control

0.7 pounds lost this week. That makes a total of 9.0 pounds lost in 2012.

Nope. I'm not surprised at all with such a pathetic loss this weigh-in. I fell apart the last couple of days. I got busy with Baby Cee's birthday party preparations. And then I just got lazy. And then I just got out of control.

I really hate the relationship I have with food.

But then I am a self-proclaimed "all or nothing" kind of gal.

One day I'll learn to stick it to my nature and achieve balance.

One thing I did well this week: On my running days I ran to one and a half songs (instead of just one song), walked one, ran one and a half, etc.

One thing I can improve upon: Making sure I get my workouts done in the morning. This sure seems to help me be more in control throughout the rest of the day.

What I'm listening to: I don't know. I seem to be pushing "Next" a lot these days. Any musical suggestions for me??

Slow and Steady Loses the Weight

Only 1.1 pounds lost this week, but that's 1.1 pounds in the right direction. I can deal with that.

This last week was a bit of a struggle eating wise. My son turned 7 on Friday and I just couldn't resist that piece of cake...or two...over the weekend. Ugh.

The thing is...even though I'm on a weight loss journey and I truly want to be successful I don't want to become such a Nazi about it that I can't relax and enjoy a little cake at a birthday party. Noshing on cucumber slices while everyone else eats cake sounds pretty ugly to me. There has to be a balance somewhere and I'm hoping to find that balance as I continue on.

In my defense, I didn't drink any pop or go crazy on all the other treats sitting around. And I made sure to get my workouts done as well as recording all my calories on myfitnesspal.com. That way I could eat cake and still stay under my daily calorie allowance. So...maybe that balance isn't as elusive as I think it is sometimes.

I'm still struggling with not eating sugar. And thanks to myfitnesspal.com I didn't realize how much salt I was eating everyday. I don't usually sprinkle salt on my food, but just the salt in the foods I eat is too much. Time to start buying all that reduced sodium, reduced fat, and no sugar added kind of stuff at the store. *sigh*

One thing I did really well this week: When I workout on the treadmill I put Pandora.com on my computer. After warming I walk to one song then run to one song. This week towards the end of the running songs I cranked up the treadmill and did sprints for about 10 to 30 seconds. I'm hoping this will push my performance out of my comfort zone.

One thing to improve on: Diet. I need to make better choices. Less sugar. Less salt. More veggies.

What I'm listening to this week: "Love You Like a Love Song" channel on Pandora.com.

How Many Calories Does the Happy Dance Burn?

First week of 2012=AWESOME!

I lost 7.2 pounds!

*happy dance*

I know not every week is or should be like that. But that first week of dedicated weight loss is always the funnest, isn't it?

Ahhh! 7.2 pounds! That's like a newborn baby. That's like almost a gallon of milk. That's like a strange movie from Will Smith.

For those of you who are going to ask--and I know you're going to--"How did you do it?", my answer is... The good old fashioned healthy way. Exercise and watching what I eat.

I worked out every day of the week except Sunday. Some days I walked/jogged/hiked on the treadmill. Some days I played Just Dance 3 on the Wii. One day I did Pilates. The workouts lasted anywhere from 30 minutes to almost an hour.

Food wise...I'm now using myfitnesspal.com to log my daily calories (and exercise). At first I was afraid it would be tedious, but now I feel it's kind of liberating. I know exactly what I can eat and how effective my exercise is. There's no guessing or second guessing. It's right there on my computer screen. I love it! (I'm "eveperks" by the way if you want to buddy up.)

That's it. No pills. No juice diets. No low carb program. Just counting calories and wiping sweat.

How was your first week of 2012?

What I'm listening to lately: Daft Punk and "Barbra Streisand" by Duck Sauce.

Fresh New Year, Fresh New Start

Is anyone surprised that after months of absence that I am checking in here at The Jolly Green Giant with the arrival of the new year?

Nah.

My guess is today your mind is similarly occupied: "Let's do something about all this extra body clutter!"

In the spirit of the new year, I'm forgiving myself of the failure of the past several months and giving myself the gift of a fresh new start. Ahhh. Now doesn't that feel better?

Not to turn up my nose at 2011 or anything. It wasn't a total failure. I lost 54.7 pounds in the year 2011. I ran my first 10K race. I learned how to be healthier and happier. I ditched all my maternity clothes and "fat" clothes. My "skinny" clothes are on the verge of being my "fat" clothes. All in all, not a total loss.

But here's to making 2012 an even better and more successful year! A year where I get closer to becoming the person I want to be.

I'm emptying out my goal list from 2011 and recording it here.
Exercise one day.
Exercise 3 days in a row.
Exercise every day for a week (6 days).
Lose 10 pounds.
Start P90X (03 Oct 2011)
Run 1 mile without stopping.
Lose 25 pounds.
Lose 30 pounds.
Run 2 miles without stopping.
Run 3 miles without stopping.
Run 4 miles without stopping.
Lose 40 pounds.
Run 6 miles without stopping.
Run 10 miles.
Join the gym.
Try Zumba.
Try Spinning.
Master the Plow (yoga balance position).
Hike a mountain.
Learn how to lift weights correctly.
Complete P90X.
Lose 50 pounds.
Run a 10K. {Pocatello Gap~03 Sep 2011~1:13}
Lose 60 pounds.
Lose 70 pounds.
Lose 75 pounds.
Run a Half Marathon. {Pocatello Gap September 2012}
Lose 81.6 pounds by Cee's 1st birthday (January 20, 2012).
Lose 90 pounds.
Lose 100 pounds.
Run a Marathon.
Keep weight off for one year.
Be healthy for LIFE!

And then it's time for a new goal list for 2012 (even if it is a tad familiar):

Today, January 2, 2012, I am 5'10" and weigh 226.8 pounds. I wear a size 18-20 dress and pant size. In 365 days I still want to be 5'10" and stable at 175 pounds, wearing a size 12-14.

Run 1 mile without stopping.
Run 2 miles without stopping.
Run 3 miles without stopping.
Run 5 miles without stopping.
Run 7 miles without stopping.
Run 10 miles without stopping.
Try Zumba.
Try Spinning.
Complete P90X.
Hike something big.
Lose 10 pounds.
Lose 20 pounds.
Lose 25 pounds by 31st birthday {April 18, 2012}.
Lose 30 pounds.
Lose 40 pounds.
Lose 50 pounds.
Run first half marathon {Portneuf Gap ~ September 2012}
*(to be modified)

Thank You, Stomach Flu!!!

4.9 pounds lost this week!

(Thank you, Stomach Flu!)

59.1 pounds lost total since 09 May 2011!!!

I am thiiiiiis close to the 60 pound mark!

I am now at the heaviest weight I was before I met my husband and had babies!

I can button up my jeans that I wore before I got pregnant! With my very first baby!!

It's Thanksgiving this week!!

Uh-oh.

If I could just shut my mouth...

...then I wouldn't be so embarrassed on Monday morning when I haven't lost half of the ten pounds I said I was going to lose before Thanksgiving. Or lost any pounds for that matter.

At least I didn't gain.

I have a feeling that if I could just shut my mouth I would also be able to lose those ten pounds. (Chocolate covered pretzels what?!)

*groan*

I'm done. I can't do this. Not now. Not through the holiday season. I've had it.

New plan of action.

Maintenance.

Until New Years.

Why does this not feel like the brightest idea either?

Making it Happen Monday

Here it is quick and dirty.

I'm still here.
I have been so so bad at this weight loss thing for the past two months.
While I haven't gained, I haven't lost either.
I'm sitting at 227.3.
54.2 pounds lost since May 9th.

For some reason Labor Day weekend undid me and I've never been able to get the pieces put back together again.
I've been eating and drinking absolute junk for several weeks now.
I'm ready to get my act together today.
Thanksgiving is right around the corner.
I can't face my family or the inevitable holiday family pictures without giving this the effort it deserves.
So I'm back.

I'm readjusting a bit.
No pop.
No eating after 8 pm.
Cut back on the carbs.
Just aim for half an hour of exercise everyday.
If it turns out to be more...so be it.
If not, don't beat yourself up over it.
I'm a busy mom.
I'm often a single mom.
Half an hour is better than nothing.

So...there it is.
My new goal is to lose 10 lbs before Thanksgiving.
Lose 10 more before Christmas.
Lose an additional 10 before Cee's first birthday.
Bringing me to my goal of being under 200 by Cee's birthday.

I can do it.
Bring it on.
That is all.

But the bandwagon looks so small from here...

A month?!

I let a whole month go by without updating the Jolly Green Giant?!

Yikes.

Well...there's a few excuses reasons I let that happen.

I've been a little sick.
It's hard to want to exercise when you can hardly breathe already and ache all over.

I've been a little busy.
School is well under way and with two kids with two different pick up times and two sets of daily homework assignments it's busier than ever.
Then there's dance classes and friends over and church activities and this and that and that and this.
And you don't have four kids and not be a little frazzled at least nine different times a day.

I've been a little depressed.
I was laid off from my work from home job.
This greatly strains our financial situation.

I've been a little lazy.
I don't know if I would call it so much "lazy" as just not having as much self control. "Busy" and "depressed" combine into one nasty little one-two punch that knocks out my self control in no time.

I've been a little overwhelmed.
We just found out our daughter has something called Celiac Disease. This means her body attacks itself when she eats anything with gluten (wheat) in it. While this can be controlled with a gluten free diet, it is a life long condition that there is no cure for. The diet is pretty intense and as I look through my pantry I can't help but feel overwhelmed when I see that 85% of our food has wheat in it. And I already struggled with what to make for dinner every night. *sigh*

I've been a little embarrassed.
I didn't exercise consistently. I ate a lot of junk. Even a couple of Dr. Peppers. I gained a few pounds back. I couldn't face the blog with my failure.

So...now that I have gotten all the excuses out there, it's time to take control again and get back on the bandwagon. Even if it does look so teensy tinsy from here.

I gained a few pounds back, but after a 3.4 weight loss this week I am currently at 227.7. That means since 09 May 2011 I have lost a total of 53.8 pounds. And that, my friends, is nothing to shake your head at. I will not let the last sloppy month destroy the success I've already had. Onwards and upwards.

As I try to shake the plateau and get back on course I have finally entered the world of calorie counting and with the help of loseit.com it's easier than I anticipated. I'm still breastfeeding 8.5 month old Cee so I added on 300 calories in my daily allowance. How long can I get away with that one, eh? ;)

I restarted P90X last week and made it through all six days. I know it's only been a week but I can already feel a difference in my muscles. I'm rather excited to see what can happen in 90 days. I don't want to look like a steroid body building Amazon woman or anything, but a little tone and definition wouldn't hurt.

Please don't think I'm so hard core by doing P90X. I don't do the pullups. Instead I use my hand weights and imitate what the people with the resistance bands are doing. I figure there's time for real pullups later. I only have a set of 3 and 5 pound weights so I'm not pumping eye-popping weight either. For right now, 5 pounds is enough. I plan to get on KSL.com and find an inexpensive weight set soon. Oh and I haven't started following the P90X diet yet either. I just can't seem to get on board with one carb, one fruit, and seven--SEVEN!--servings of protein a day.

And honestly, P90X is not as bad as everyone makes it sound to be (except for the diet). They sure intimidate the sweat right out of you with all the commercials on TV. All those sweaty, ripped beasts cranking out pullups like nobody's business. It's totally doable as long as you're willing to follow Tony's motto: "Do your best and forget the rest!"

I haven't ran in a few weeks. I miss running, but with Joe being out of town all the time, the weather cooling off, the days getting shorter, and my mommy schedule, running has to take a back seat for a bit. My hope is that doing P90X will help me be a better runner when I can get back to it.

And there it all is. The excuses, the failures, the updates, the hope. Bandwagon, here I come! Happy Monday everybody!

Good News and Bad News

Good news and bad news.

Which do you want first?

No weight gained, but none lost either.

This is the second week in a row that I've maintained my current weight.

While I'm grateful I haven't gained anything, I'm frustrated with this plateau. I have a goal of being under 200 pounds before January 20, 2012, Baby Cee's first birthday. I don't care if I'm at 199.9999 pounds. I just want to see a 100 on the scale versus a 200.

As of today that means I need to lose 30 more pounds in four months. That is totally doable. I just need to get strict with myself again. I have been anything but strict lately. Skipping workouts and eating chocolate covered pretzels isn't exactly "dedicated". It's time to change things up.

Blah. I hate change.

Joe and I decided to start P90X today. I read over the material last week and we even did the Fit Test to make sure we "qualified". I barely qualified, but qualify I did.

I'm afraid I don't have the most positive attitude in starting P90X. It just seems brutal and brutal isn't for me. But I need to do something different and the program is already sitting in my house. Might as well use it. Plus, Joe said he would do it with me and I will do just about anything to get him on board with this get-healthy journey.

Funny thing is, we were supposed to start today and he headed out of town on a business trip. Looks like it's just me and good ol' Tony Horton. Ugh.

Here I go. Hold me to it! Today is the day I finally start P90X.

(I have my "before" pictures but I'm only willing to show those side by side with the "after" pictures.)

Quick and Dirty

Hey! Still here chugging away on this weight loss journey! Life has been crazy as it always is.

As of Tuesday, September 6, 2011 (Labor Day holiday kind of messed me up on weigh in days) I lost another 4.1 pounds, bringing me to a total of 52.4 pounds lost since May 9, 2011.

As of Monday, September 12, 2011 I lost 0 pounds. No surprise with the bigger loss the week before. Here's hoping for a better week this week.

My first 10K race was on Saturday, September 3rd. It was a fantastic experience and I plan to write about in detail when I have a bit more time and the pictures to add.

I've hit a motivational slump over the last couple of weeks, but I'm working my way out of it. Onward and upward!

Triumphs and Troubles

5.4 pounds lost.

48.3 pounds total since 09 May 2011.

Funny how my weight loss goals start to get back in line just when my fitness goals are driving me crazy.

It was a hard week of running last week. Every day of running was excruciating to get through. One morning as I was bustling around the house cleaning, I bent forward and felt a rip in my upper back left leg. PAIN! It was sore the rest of the day and I wanted to cry with fear and frustration that my running goals were slipping through my hands. I ran that night anyway. The pain wasn't bad by then. But half a week later I can still feel it, nagging and pecking away at my self doubt.

My Saturday run was frustrating too. Usually my Saturday runs are glorious and triumph-laden. I had planned and fully expected to run 7 miles. But I couldn't run the whole thing. I ended up walking throughout.

After a run, I always feel accomplished when I did it "clean" meaning to me that I ran the entire distance I had planned to run. No walking. No shortcuts. No excuses. So after walking through parts of a 7 mile run I couldn't help but feel I had cheated and that my 7 miles was no accomplishment.

Is there something wrong with me?
Am I a perfectionist when it comes to running?
Is there anything wrong with walking parts of a running route?
Does it still "count"?

I wonder if I need to change my expectations of myself.
Or I wonder if this is just a bad week or I'm over training or I'm injured or...or...or...

I worry that I have pushed my body to its limit and this is it for me. I hate that! I hate feeling like I can't do it. And that's exactly how I feel this week. And just when I had decided I wanted to try for a full marathon next year...(Shh! I didn't say that out loud.)

Good week for weight loss. Bad week for fitness progress. We shall see what this week brings...