08 October 2012
I only lost 0.7 pounds this week. I'm not surprised with all the sugar screw-ups I had this week.
Dang that sugar.
Still, that brings my weight loss total to 92.7 pounds lost. Yea!
I have such an internal battle with myself daily...hourly...minutely.
What's so bad about being the weight I am now? I'm a size 12/14. I can shop in the "regular" section of the department store. I'm under 200 pounds. Heck, I'm under 190 pounds for the first time in 9 years. Why couldn't I just say a 93 pound weight loss is good enough?
Some days I'm ready to do just that.
Other days, I'm not.
I'm 5'10" and on a doctor's scale I'm still "overweight" by at least 15 pounds. If I lost 15 pounds I would still be on the very edge of the "good zone".
Pssh! It's only 15 pounds, right? What's the big deal?! That's what I keep asking myself every day.
It's getting so hard to lose weight now. I have to be so very careful about every little thing I put in my mouth. No sugar. No soda. No fun. At least that's what it feels like sometimes.
We're wandering into the holiday season now and I don't want to be so obsessed with weight loss that I can't bake some pumpkin goodies or decorate sugar cookies with my kids. But I don't want to destroy the progress I've made either.
It really is a good thing I'm doing this weight loss competition right now or I would have fallen hard weeks ago. Only problem is it ends a few days before Halloween. Yikes!
I know I write about this all the time, but somehow I've got to find that happy balance. I WANT MY CAKE AND I WANT TO EAT IT TOO, GOSH DANGIT!!!
So maybe I keep going with the weight loss challenge. Then I work to maintain through the holidays, still working out, but not being such a Nazi that I can't relax a little through the holidays. Then pick it back up in January when the fire to succeed is burning brightly.
Sounds like a plan. Until I change my mind again tomorrow.