Getting a little more JOLLY, a little more GREEN, and a little less GIANT.

06 March 2012

Less Giant, but Less Jolly.

I've been a truly pathetic blogger and for once it's truly due to more than my own lack of laziness. My computer and Blogger have been at odds for the last month. They just don't play nice.

The same could be said for my current mental state and a medication I have started recently to ease chronic dizziness I have suffered with since the birth of my last baby over a year ago. Quite frankly, I don't need any help sinking into a dark and lonely place. I tend to be rather prone to depression as it is. This last year exercise and finding health have been my saving grace. I haven't felt depressed in months and months. But in a few short days these meds seem more than willing to push me over the edge. I don't want to exercise. I don't want to eat healthy. I dont want to have self control. I don't even want to get out of bed.

This is way more information than you ever wanted on a weight loss blog I'm sure, but trust me...my mental state more than affects how my weight loss and journey to health is progressing.

Without going into much detail...it's been a rough couple of weeks. I hardly let myself celebrate the fact that I hit the 70 pounds lost mark. That's a huge milestone but it hardly put a blip on my radar.

I've made a call to my doctor and he's changing the medication. I'd much rather deal with dizziness than feel like this. This dark, cold place is going to do nothing but balloon me right back to almost 300 pounds. And I just can't go back there. For so many reasons.

Sorry it's not all sunshine and rainbows and ponies here today. But that's life. Gotta have the downs to appreciate the ups, right?

6 comments:

Jodi said...

Having chronic health problems on top of being a momma is so tough! Hopefully you can get it all worked out and SOON! I'll be praying for you!:)

Bethany said...

I recently started meds that did the same thing. Most common side effects are fatigue and depression. Like we moms need that, eh? On top of that we've had a few disappointing news blows, so believe me when I say:

I feel ya.

And I hope your doc can put you on new meds, or no meds, that will put you in a better place. Don't give up!

Lisa said...

Oh I am definitely still there too. I have no motivation to do anything but yell at my kids. I'm sorry you are suffering. Good luck!!!

Jeremy, Lana, Brenna and Mason said...

I am so sorry you are struggling with this! I know how much attitude and depression can affect eating/weight. 70lbs is a huge accomplishment though, and you should have a belated celebration when the meds get changed! And you should also call me to talk sometime when you need it! I love you!

Myya said...

Thinking about you & praying that you & your doctor find that balance. <3

Missy0327 said...

Do not worry that your blog is not all sunshine and rainbows. If life was really like that, we would still be crazy!
Just muddle through this and pick yourself back up and back on the journey.
You are an inspiration to me, you work so hard raising your kids and being a 'single married'.
My thoughts are with you!