3 Miles

3 miles.

All running. No stopping.

It was so hard.

After the first mile, after the second mile, I really began to wonder if I could do it.

My body begged and pleaded for me to just stop. Give up. Call it.

But I ignored it. I did it. I ran all three miles.

I not only did it. I sprinted at the end.

And I felt like one bad mamba jamba as I strutted through that last cool down lap to the victorious sounds of Muse blasting over my earphones.

I gave myself chills.

Is there a super hero cape flowing behind me?

Maybe.

Is there anything I can't do?

Today it all feels possible.

Weighing In and Wondering

It's Monday. You know what that means... Time to weigh in and see if the peanut butter candy I indulged in last night undid all of my efforts over the week.

2.8 pounds lost.

Now. What would it have been had I not eaten the stupid PB candy? Ugh. The "what ifs" could kill a girl.

Oh well. 2.8 pounds is still pretty good. And that brings me to a total of 37.8 pounds lost. Getting very close to 40! Maybe next week...IF I can steer clear of the PB candy that is.

But yikes! We have two birthdays this week: Joe's and Jeigh's.

Holidays are always a battle for me. Do I stick strictly to healthy eating? Or do I reserve my treat day for the holiday? Or do I just indulge a bit in the name of celebrating?

What do you all do? Stay true or indulge? And do you suffer with guilt afterwards like I do?

Baby Steps and Gag Orders

Joe got home last night (WOOHOO!)

Now that he's home I couldn't wait to do one thing...

I woke up early this morning and went running. ALL BY MYSELF!!! Ahhhh...

I've heard people say before that exercise is their escape. I just didn't understand that until now. But an hour of running all by myself, without four little ones underfoot, in hand, and within ear reach was the perfect release from two weeks of married single motherhood.

I did 3.5+ miles on the local high school track. I ran 2.25 miles of that and 2 of those miles without stopping! I didn't hurt. I wasn't out of breath. I even thought about going farther, but in my training I have so far to go in such a short amount of time before I'm ready for my half marathon. I can't risk injuring myself now.

I have to remember to take baby steps. 2 miles is enough for today. But 2 miles makes me feel pretty awesome nonetheless. If you had told me a couple of months ago that I was capable of running 2 miles continuously...I would have laughed in your face...or probably cried. That's more my style.

Who knew that running could be such an emotional affair?

It really is. My sister gets that. She's training for her first half marathon on September 3rd. I'm so proud of her! And I can't wait to be there when she crosses the finish line. I decided to not only be there, but BE there running my first 10K, a good baby step towards a half marathon.

It's funny how a 10K (6.2 miles) used to seem so impossible, but now that I am aiming for a half marathon (13.1 miles) it's a walk in the park.

Kind of.

Not really.

Whatever. It's all relative.

For her own reasons my sister hasn't told very many people about her upcoming race. I didn't understand why she was keeping it on the downlow. It's such an admirable goal. But after the reaction I got the other day when I told a woman that I was training for a half marathon I kind of get the secrecy.

My sister is a runner. She weighs about a hundred pounds less than me. She's a beast. And if she's worried about telling people...

When I mentioned I was training for a half to a neighbor lady, she looked me up and down and I swear her thought process went something like this: "Suuuuure you are. All 246 pounds of you."

I felt so stupid.

Note to self: Keep half marathon to self until half marathon is over.

So, I'm placing a gag order on myself and keeping my training to myself.

Oh and anyone else who reads this blog.

Whatever.

This is scary...

I must be insane.

My stomach sure thinks so. It gets all queasy and crampy every time I think about what I have committed myself to today. I keep having to run to the bathroom just from the pure anxiety, fear, and excitement that are wreaking havoc on my intestines.

What's got me so crazy?

I decided to bite the bullet and start training for a half marathon. THIS half marathon in fact.



*runs to bathroom*

I'm scared to death! I'm excited beyond belief! I'm definitely insane.

Running. 13.1 miles.

I weigh 246.5 pounds. I can only run about a mile without stopping. I have four little kids.

But I have 14 and a half weeks to train.
I have a willing heart.
And I even have a sister who has agreed to do it with me!

I can do this. I can do this? I can do this!

I think...

Adios 250s!

I've been edging my way ever closer to the 240s. It's taking a little longer than I would have hoped, but after today's weigh-in I can say...I finally made it past the 250 mark!!! And with style! I lost 4.8 pounds this week bringing me to 246.5 pounds and 35.0 pounds lost total!

Ahhhhh! That feels incredible!

I think what helped this week is that I messed up. You read that right. I messed up. I ate after 8 pm. I ate some not so healthy things. And I missed a few workouts. I think my body needed the change up. Or maybe I lost muscle...? I don't know, but I'll take my 4.8 pounds and run with it.

Literally.

I just can't let go of my running goals. I want to do it! And I have started running again and it's not hurting this time. Maybe I'm stronger. Maybe I don't weigh as much. Whatever changed, I'm loving it and hoping I can get serious about running again.

Now to find the time, the shoes, and the race...

A New Way to Celebrate

Today is my 8th wedding anniversary. Oh and Joe's too of course. It's also Monday, meaning time to check in with the scale. Scale says... Down another 2.6 pounds. Total weight loss 30.2 pounds!

That means...I have hit another milestone and can cross off another goal. Lose 30 pounds. Done and done!

I am thiiiiiiiis close to being under the 250 mark (today I'm at 251.3). I tumbled through the 280s, barreled past the 270s. Tiptoed through the 260s. And strolled through the 250s. My weight loss is slowing down, but I am so excited to say ta-ta to the upper end of 200!

Oh to be looking at the 240s! Then the 230s! Then the 220s--GASP! I haven't seen those since before I was married and I thought I was fat then. (I was, but I managed to kick myself into gear and lose 50 pounds before I met Joe.)

On this day that we celebrate our wedding anniversary and we watch the home video of that beloved day, I can't help but stare longingly at the girl I used to be. On my wedding day I was 175 pounds. I had cheekbones and only one chin. I had lovely arms and muscular legs. My stomach was flat, my waist was thin, my rear end was in control.

*sigh*

One day...One day I'm going to see that person again in the mirror. She won't be quite the same. She might be saggier and baggier and older, BUT WISER and stronger and more confident.

One day...

After watching our home video, I celebrated our wedding anniversary by walking 3 miles and jogging 1 mile of it without stopping! And there goes another goal on my list: Run 1 mile without stopping. Done and done! What a different way to celebrate than I normally would with a box of Mrs. See's chocolates. Life is good. Love is grand! I love my hunka hunka burnin' love! and I can't wait to give him back his blushing bride...only better!

Freedom from Myself

Happy Fourth of July everyone! I have a house full of people and a schedule full of fun. No time for blogging, but very quickly here's the results of today's weigh in:

Another 1.9 pounds lost (on a doozy of a holiday weekend spent with family no less!)
Total weight loss now at 27.6 pounds!

My family is starting to notice my progress. They think my waist looks smaller! They talk about wanting to be healthy too, but the treats and pop still make the rounds. *sigh* One day we will all be strong together.