I weighed myself this morning hoping I had lost maybe 4 pounds this week.
7.6 pounds lost?!?!
That makes a total of 10.6 pounds lost in two weeks. I must be doing something right.
I celebrated my victory with a pancake and bacon breakfast.
But I did make some peanut butter candy (of the school district variety) and instead of nibbling away at the whole pan over the day, I ate a few small pieces, cut up the rest, and ran them over to the neighbors.
Not only do I get to enjoy my treat, I avoid the calories, and make nice with my neighbors. Everybody's a winner.
And today...I have to admit, I feel like I am WINNING!! (Can't say that without thinking of one Mr. Sheen.) At least winning the weight battle. I know I have so far to go and this is just a small victory, but it's a great kick start for the rest of the war.
I'm one-tenth the way there. And that's a heckuva a lot farther than I was two weeks ago. Who knew two weeks could change a person's outlook? Instead of feeling like a waste of (a rather large piece of) space, I feel...
eager to try
Not every moment of every day feels like that. Every day is a roller coaster ride of anger, sadness, despair, hope, courage, willingness to try, pride, defeat, anger, sadness, despair....and back up again.
I hope as I make more progress, that roller coaster will only level out more and more until it doesn't feel like such an hourly power struggle. I think I can feel that happening already.
My husband is out of town this week which is good because I don't have to cook for him and I can eat as healthy as I want without his whining and complaining that I'm starving him. And bad because I miss him and want to dive head first into the bag of chocolate chips sitting in my pantry to soothe my pain.
It doesn't help that I get frustrated and overwhelmed with taking care of four littles all on my own. My previous reaction to my temporary stints in single motherhood was that as soon as the kids were in bed, I would watch a movie and eat mindlessly, out of boredom, out of loneliness.
I've been trying to replace those late night cravings for sweets with berries and low-fat vanilla yogurt. It's working so far.
Well, two weeks in and going strong. Thanks for all the comments of support! I think about them often during those nasty roller coaster plunges. Who knew blogging could overpower the urge to eat chocolate??? Amazing.
On to week three...