Days like this...
make me...
CRAZY.
I started to type "Days like this make me want to give up!" but I erased that because it's just not true anymore. I don't want to give up. In fact I'm terrified of giving up. I never ever ever never want to go back to who I was a few months ago and I just simple cannot let that happen.
Still, on a journey like this, you have fantastic days where you feel like a million bucks and you feel like you could be president of something if you really wanted to and then you have really rotten meager days like today.
Days where your body and your children and your life are joining forces to make running feel pointless and impossible and stupid.
The baby is screaming.
The three year old is crying.
The older two are bickering.
The sun is too hot.
The running clothes are chafing.
The car needs $700 in repairs.
The house is a mess.
The work is piling up.
The everything and anything are all wrong.
And where you could run for an hour only a day before, all the sudden you can't make it for 20 minutes. There's no way you're going to be prepared for half marathon, much less a 10K. What were you thinking to make these kinds of goals?! And forget about what a crummy runner you are. How about what a negligent mom you are too? And let's not forget how shoddy your housekeeping skills are. And what about the kind of friend you are anymore. Pathetic. And this...And that... And...blahblahblah.
I suppose these bad days help us to appreciate those great days. At least that's what I keep telling myself in hopes I'll believe it.
2 comments:
It's hard to keep up the motivation all the time. Believe me! Especially with four kids! Gah! Don't underestimate yourself, especially with how far you have come.
I keep telling myself I should get up the motivation to run a 5k or something, but I think I'm happy with just being able to run period and pass the fitness test needed for the military.
Thanks, I needed this. Yesterday was a killer day.. couldn't keep boys up even to 11 and fussiness the entire day. Then today is how I wanted yesterday to be; Guess you need the rain to appreciate the sunshine. I don't know how you do it Evelyn but your words help me believe that I can too.
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