Just as I began my morning run at the local high school track it started to rain.
What's a little rain? I kept jogging.
Then it started pouring down rain.
I kept jogging.
It was early. Most of the other runners had left either because of the rain (wimps!) or because they were done with their workouts (more likely than the former).
It was just me and the track and the rain. The rain was warm and harmless. Before long I was soaked. But I felt so alive!
This was a girlhood
I wish I had done this ages ago. I discovered that nothing makes you feel more alive than running in a summer rain.
Aaaaaand then nothing makes you feel more like the old fat person you are than running in the rain with high school football practice starting on your left side and cheer leading practice on your right side.
This was a girlhood nightmare.
It was something straight out of my past or one of those gawky teen flicks.
I was never a cheerleader (or a football player). I was the chubby awkward girl who got good grades.
Now I'm the chubbier awkward lady who has four babies, bills, and other worries besides not being asked to the school dance, studying for finals, and remembering my locker combination.
Still I couldn't help feeling like I was right back there. Back in that painful pubescent period.
The football players stood on the track joking around and wasting time before their practice began on the field inside the track lanes. They didn't move out of my way as I jogged in my lane. I had to run around them. Just as I had had to in high school.
The cheerleaders all wore teeny tiny shorts and perky up dos that obviously had more intention than just keeping their hair out of their face. After all, football practice was going on only a mere few yards away. They mostly ignored me. I was insignificant. Just as I had been in high school.
Just a fat, huffy puffy, old mom.
Before they all showed up I had been soaring with the exhilaration of jogging through an early morning summer rain fall. Now I felt keenly aware of every roll of fat, every heavy footfall, every gasp for air.
Then the thought came to me...
Where are you all going to be in 10 years?
I slapped on my mental blinders, continued my run, and almost giggled out loud as I imagined the balding and bellies, the minivans and mortgages in their futures.
This wasn't about them. This wasn't about high school. This wasn't even about me 10 years ago.
This was about me. Now. In the present. And the me I am trying to create for the future.
This is a personal journey. And so far my journey is going marvelously. A few cocky football players and snobby cheerleaders do nothing to change how far I've come and how far I can go.
So, I kept running through the rain. And there may or may not have been football and cheer leading practice going on all around me. Who knows. Who cares.
I am the heroine in my own movie. And we all know what happens at the end of those teen flicks anyway, right?